


Night in the Woods

by trippieseojoon



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Dreamcatcher, F/M, FTM, Oops, Outdoor Sex, ftm character, i wrote this as pwp but ended up adding p, trans repppp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-01-26 02:03:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21366364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trippieseojoon/pseuds/trippieseojoon
Summary: Siyeon hasn't seen Yoobin in years, but she's always missed him. Turns out he's always missed her too.
Relationships: Lee Siyeon/Lee Yoobin | Dami
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	Night in the Woods

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was selfishly PWP originally. But of course I had to project my own experience as being trans into it and came up with some plot lol.

_ “There’s no rules in the woods.” _

It’d been laughable when Yoohyeon had said it earlier. But now night had fallen. The bonfire was surrounded by maybe one too many bodies. People were already pretending to be drunk, Jungkook aside. He was the only one rich enough to casually bring bottles of something more akin to rubbing alcohol than beer. The music was loud, the empty conversations even more so. Nothing crazy had happened yet, but Siyeon still felt nervous. She tended to feel uneasy in social situations more often than not and Yoohyeon’s words kept coming to mind as she watched everyone from school interact with each other. 

She never came to these post-game night bonfires if she could help it… Going to the movies, the cat cafe downtown, or even the park were preferred hang out spots for her. Nothing unpredictable could happen in places like that. But here... She’d been anxious before they’d even pulled up. Trying to get out of it last minute had been pointless. 

For some reason, Yoohyeon hadn't let her get away with any kind of excuse not to go. 

The second Siyeon looked over towards the pathway back to the parking lot for the nth time that night, she realized why.

Her heart dropped to her stomach… and for what? She saw Yoobin online all the time. He was friends with just about everyone and Siyeon could never work up the nerve to block him on anything. But in that instant, she wished she had at some point. He looked even better in person. His shaggy hair was messy on purpose and it was annoying. He was here to show out. It was so obvious that it should’ve been a turn off. 

A brown paper bag in hand, he got pulled into a circle immediately. Siyeon used the opportunity to find Yoohyeon. Sitting with her boyfriend on a blanket, Siyeon dropped down and dug her nails into her shoulder as she hissed.

“Yoobin is here.”

“Oh, wow… No way…”

Siyeon could only glare at her as a smile crept onto her lips.

“I know I should have told you when it happened, but he messaged me about you a week ago. You would’ve been pissed if I told you that right before finals.”

“About what?”

“He said he’d been thinking about you. Asked how you were doing.”

It wasn’t like she wanted... It wasn’t like she _ needed _ him to, but why hadn’t he just messaged her directly? Had he been scared? Nervous? She hoped so. Because she definitely was, so much so that her skin was hot. The thought of looking back to see him was making it even worse. She wasn’t drunk enough to deal with this. Leaving Yoohyeon behind, she got up and headed over to the drink coolers. She saved getting drunk for the dorm, when she could be curled up in a blanket and watching movies, but tonight had now become a special exception. 

Maybe the alcohol would help her understand why on Earth Yoobin was even thinking about her in the first place. They hadn’t spoken since senior year. It had literally been two years since they’d even seen each other, let alone spoken to each other. She would never admit to anyone just how much she'd thought about Yoobin since. But she had every right to do that. He didn’t. 

He lost the right to wonder about her the second he'd decided to end things. He lost that right the second he'd decided to assume that things would never work. She remembered every thought, every emotion that had raced through her head that night. She remembered looking at his leveled brow, the way it’d seemed like he hadn’t even _ wanted _things to work out. He hadn’t even wanted to try. She’d tried, though. With every fiber of her being, she’d tried. Not even to get things to work, but just to get him to care as much as she had.

She cringed at the thought. 

“Never thought I’d see you drink beer before. Aren’t you more of a merlot kind of girl?”

The voice was beyond unfamiliar. She turned to see Yoobin standing there with a smirk. Her eyes widened, despite the desire to not react to him at all. She was shocked. His voice was so deep now. It was surreal for a moment. But the high crashed within seconds. When had he started testosterone? His voice had changed so much… and she’d missed all of it.

“Merlot is preferred, yeah.” she couldn’t hold his gaze.

“Well, damn.” 

The brown bag he was holding crinkled and forced Siyeon to look up towards him again. He proudly held the bottle of merlot with a full-blown smile. Her brow furrowed. 

“We haven’t talked in years.”

“Yeah. It feels like longer, doesn’t it?”

Blown away by how casual he seemed, she didn’t hold her tongue as she asked, “What makes you think I want that to change?”

“I mean, I came here kind of just hoping. Not knowing.”

His eyes were kind, not like they were really ever anything different. And despite his voice being so deep, it was still soft. It was crazy how that was still the same. Everything else seemed so different. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen his physical change on Instagram. He posted comparison pictures a lot. Yet, seeing him right in front of her eyes, with a vague memory of how he looked before there as well… It was insane. Suddenly, she was lost for words. 

He lifted a brow, “Do you want to drink?” 

Before Siyeon could even blink, chaos invaded their space. Several drunken _ boys _stumbled near the coolers as they joked around with each other. Siyeon started walking away in an instant, looking back towards an amused Yoobin.

“Let’s go hang out in the parking lot.”

She walked ahead of him. One, because she'd been beyond ready to leave. Two, because the desire to gaze at him was easier to ignore if she couldn’t see him. The further they got away from the bonfire, the harder her heart started to thump in her chest. Being alone with Yoobin had bad idea written all over it. This was a mistake. Just as she was about to stop to turn on her heel, Yoobin gawked.

“Yo, I didn’t see that on my way up here at all.”

He was pointing towards what was surely a makeshift path into the woods. But there was a clearing. Old lawn chairs, trash, and the remnants of what looked like a beer pong table were there. 

“Probably because it’s dark.”

“The moon is out.”

“You--”

“Besides, there’s places to sit. And we’ll be alone.”

He started off down the path and Siyeon quickly followed. 

“Are you hoping I want to be alone with you too?”

“A little.”

When they got to the small clearing, Yoobin tested the old table before sitting on it. Siyeon knew better than to sit close to him. She wasn’t stupid. But she couldn’t ignore how selfish she was. Her arm brushed up against his jean jacket as she got comfortable. The screw-top bottle got opened and he offered it to her first. They sat in silence and she watched as he kept his gaze towards the sky. 

She almost choked when he attempted to sneak a glance at her.

Smiling, he muttered, “I had no idea you ended up going to Gyeongsang at first.”

“Well, why would you?”

“Yeah, true.”

“How's your school?”

“It’s alright. I’m not even an hour away from my cousin. It’s nice.”

“That’s good.”

Siyeon decided to take another drink, maybe one that was too big. She urged Yoobin to take it and he gave her a look of playful concern. It was surprisingly familiar and too much so for her liking. She missed him. Being together now, she had no choice but to admit it. Was that why he was here? Did he miss her too? She didn’t get angry about it as quickly this time. Logic wasn’t going to save her right now. Resent wasn’t either. She was better than that. 

They were _both_ better than the awkward silence sitting between them.

“You--”

“Are--?”

Maybe not.

They both laughed. Yoobin ushered her to go first.

“Are… Are you here for a reason? Like, why’d you come?”

“I miss everyone. Almost our whole class ended up coming here. There’s like me and two others over at Dalim. Literally two.” he kept his gaze down on the bottle in his grasp, “But I mean… I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently. I wasn’t going to try to force you to talk to me. But I was definitely going to try tonight, try to talk to you.”

Siyeon wanted to accuse him of so many things in one moment that it all got stuck on her tongue.

“I owe you a huge apology… like yesterday.”

“More like two years ago.”

“Yeah.” he nodded, “Yeah…”

“It didn’t seem like you cared at all when it happened, you know. If anything, that’s the only thing I really want you to apologize for.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re not forgiven, but thank you.”

“I _ did _care. I was just… I don’t know. Too selfish? I just wanted to be me and I wanted it to be easy. Staying together wouldn’t have been easy. And I know it’s no excuse, but fuck. We were 18.”

“I wish that made a difference to me.”

To be _ him? _As if she hadn’t insisted to him with tears in her eyes a billion times over that he was never going to be anything other than a man in her eyes. He’d always been _him_. Not even once had she lingered on the thought of missing his old identity in any way, shape, form, or sense. That had never been who he was. That had been easy for her to grasp. Love had made all of it easy for her. He was the one that had made things difficult. 

“Like, do you get what I mean?” he wondered.

“No.”

“Nothing was ever going to change the fact that you knew me as a _girl_ first. It wouldn’t have mattered how you acted towards me, even if you forgot about it, _ I _ never would’ve. Every time I thought about us still being together, the thought of being reminded about it constantly literally made me feel sick.”

“You really were--”

“Us staying together wouldn’t have been best for me. It would’ve fucked me up. Transitioning would’ve been so much harder than it already was if we’d stayed together. I didn’t want that and I get it. It was selfish, but I…” he shook his head, “I’m not going to apologize for that.”

Hands gripping the table between her legs, Siyeon leaned over some. She didn’t want it to make sense, but the longer she thought about it, the more sense it made. She’d read so many fourms online after their breakup. She’d been beyond prepared to be the most supportive person in his life in hopes they’d get back together. But… being supportive probably never would’ve made up for the fact that he’d wanted to escape a part of himself that he would've never really been able to forget. Her being around would’ve made that harder, yeah. But they could’ve gotten through it. 

They could’ve gotten through it, but she couldn’t be angry at him wanting to protect himself.

“You don’t have to. It makes sense.”

She silently asked for the wine bottle and took a drink. He seemed relieved. She forced a half-smile on her lips in an effort to reassure him that she understood. It didn't make it hurt any less. But she understood.

“So, you didn’t want to stay together because it would’ve reminded you of pre-transition stuff all the time… You could’ve just told me that.”

“I could’ve. I have no excuse for that. I was just doing what I thought was best.”

“Did you regret coming out to me?”

“No.” he looks at her in confusion, “Not at all.”

“That’s good.”

Something was stopping her from revealing the hurt she felt freshly scratch her heart. She remembered being so excited, so happy for him when he came out to her. It had plenty of times beforehand, but the way their future life together flashed before her eyes after that had been… just so _desirable_. The opportunity to take part in making him his best self, making him as happy as he could’ve been… Wanting that so badly had been so selfish. It was so fucking selfish. 

She wasn’t 18 anymore… She had no excuse for still feeling so hurt over it.

“I honestly don’t know if us breaking up was for the best or not. But I know I miss you a lot. Still. I honestly don’t know how I’ve made it two years without reaching out to you. I had good friends, I guess.”

Siyeon laughed at the thought of Yoohyeon helping her burn all of their paper memories after they’d broken up, “Same. Yoohyeon made me delete your number pretty quick. But I was mad at you for so long. Not talking to you was pretty easy.”

It was almost as if Yoobin knew it was a lie too.

“Yoohyeon doesn’t seem to hate me anymore.”

“Yeah, I don’t know when that became a thing. She wanted me to come tonight because she knew you were coming.”

“And you came.”

“Against my will.”

He rolled his eyes and took one more sip before putting the bottle on the ground. He stood up just so he could move in front of her. They weren’t even that close, but breathing suddenly became difficult. His shoulders were so much more broad now. The way he ran his hand through his hair as he thought shouldn’t have been as attractive as it was. How Siyeon was able to hold his gaze once he looked at her, she had no idea.

She was frozen in fear, fear of the anticipation under her skin that was crawling everywhere.

“I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t know what I wanted to come out of tonight. Like, I’m not expecting us to just suddenly be friends or to be together. I’m not expecting you to suddenly want to give me a chance to be in your life again. I’m not expecting shit. But I want all of it.”

He was subtly chewing on the inside of his lip. Him still doing that when he was nervous was admirable. Siyeon took a deep breath. Her mind was working like it was processing his words at the speed of light, yet no response fell to her tongue. She hadn’t been expecting anything, either. Yet, she was so caught off guard by his confession. She couldn’t even be satisfied by now knowing why he’d come. 

The reason she couldn’t do much of anything was because of the way his lips looked. She’d gotten the guts to take them in without even realizing it.

The first thing she thought as she reached for the sides of his jacket was that she hadn’t kissed a guy since 2nd grade.The second, as he stepped between her open legs and cupped her cheeks, was that no one else she’d developed feelings for in her life had ever made her feel so insane. This was insane. The way his kiss sent chills down her arms was insane. Kissing him within an hour of him coming back into her life… insane.

But as his hands ran along her waist to hold her, Yoohyeon’s words echoed in her brain again.

All the times she’d willingly- and unwillingly- dreamt of something like this happening didn’t compare to the actual moment at all. His growing urgency wasn’t intimidating at all. She wanted to taste him just as badly. They way he kissed was giving her no other option but to melt into him. Pulling away seemed impossible, but she did it. Unable to do anything aside from catch her breath, she stayed close to him as they both stood in what they’d created. The cold air was no match for the heat radiating off of her skin. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get close enough to you, you know…” he mumbled, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

She went to kiss him again, more gentle this time. He really couldn’t get close enough. Pressed up right against her, her body reacted to it without question. Her hands finally released their hold on his jacket and ran down along his chest. From what she’d seen on his social media, he taped his chest down. Feeling how flat it was felt surreal. Feeling _ him _felt surreal. Completely unfamiliar, yet she wasn’t scared in the slightest. 

They continued to go lower, as they had minds of their own. Stopping at the hem of his jeans, she waited to see if it would be okay to continue. Yoobin didn’t stiffen at all. He didn’t say anything. Siyeon pulled away a little, waiting for him to open his eyes. 

“I want to touch you. Is that okay?”

He nodded.

She let one of her hands fall some to run over the small bulge under his jeans. Rubbing it under her palm, she pulled him closer with her free hand. It was difficult to tell if he could feel it against him until it wasn’t. His body reacted in an instant, but his hand shot down to grab her wrist.

“Not so hard. Not so hard.”

“Sorry.”

He guided her hand against him and Siyeon took over with a bit more caution. His lips found a way to hers again and Siyeon couldn’t ignore the heat between her thighs even if she’d wanted to. She didn’t know how tonight was going to end, but she knew that she didn’t want to stop. Yoobin didn’t seem to want too either. His hands came down to unbutton his jeans. Siyeon chased his mouth as he pulled away. Hands idle at the top of his jeans, he looked at her with a gaze she couldn’t read.

“You… You know my body is different now, right?”

She just nodded, “I do.”

Of course, she’d done her reading on what testosterone could do to his body… Then, there had been those few nights where her mouse would wander on her laptop to find guys like Yoobin. Just out of curiosity. Thinking about what he really looked liked, as compared to her imagination, made her throb. His furrowed brow was starting to show traces of hesitance, though. It was a needed reminder that this wasn’t just about her and what she knew she would love.

“If you don’t-- If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to show me. I can just touch you here.”

“I’m comfortable. I just wanted to make sure first.”

Siyeon let her hand fall away as he dropped his jeans. He pulled his packer out and set it on the table. Siyeon took him before he could do anything else. Sliding off the tabletop, she stood up only so she could urge him to rest back against it instead. He laughed as he tried to move without tripping over his jeans. Once settled, Siyeon got down on her knees as she took his underwear off. 

“Fuck.”

“If I do something you don’t like, let me know.” she muttered before going in to tease the tip of his length with her tongue.

He tensed up, his head falling back as she slowly took him in her mouth. Feeling him throb against her tongue was giving her a rush she’d never felt before. He couldn’t even look at her as she sucked him off. She stayed gentle still, moving slowly as that seemed to get the most reaction out of him. Toying with the tip was what got a moan out of him. The emotions overwhelming her as he started to make more and more noise were unexplainable. What she was feeling was something she’d never felt before, but something she knew she’d only ever feel with Yoobin.

His hand came to hold her head against him, his hips rising from the table’s edge in an effort to get the most out of her mouth. She held his thighs as she pulled away, waiting for him to look down at her before speaking.

“Am I doing good?”

His voice was weak, “So good.”

The grip on her hair got tighter as she went back down on him without warning. It didn’t take long for him to start squirming where he stood. Every time she took him in her mouth completely, her chin would rub against other parts of Yoobin’s arousal. As badly as she wanted to taste it, she didn’t want to risk ruining the moment by asking. A low grunt escaped his lips as she started sucking on solely the tip.

“Keep doing that.”

He came within seconds. Broken moans escaped his lips as he stiffened, holding her hair tightly as he did. She’d had plenty of off-brand fantasies and dreams, but she was surprised to get turned on by the thought swallowing Yoobin’s load. Feeling him spasm in her mouth felt just as good, however. She was so close that she couldn’t even imagine what Yoobin’s touch would feel like. This so far had been more than enough for her.

“Fuck…” he breathed, a tremor running through him as she took in his whole length before sitting on the back of her heels.

He was still trying to get his bearings back as he urged her to stand up. Before she could even get her balance, he pulled her into a kiss. He shamelessly tasted himself on her tongue as their lips melded together. Pulling away, Siyeon couldn’t get the words out fast enough.

“Touch me.”

His hand clumsily worked its way into her jeans. Feeling his fingertips against her clit drew out a whine and she had to keep her face hidden against his shoulder as he started getting her off. It was almost as if they’d never spent any time apart. He still knew her like the back of his hand, knew what she liked. He didn’t hesitate to keep his pace as he rubbed small circles against her clit. Her jeans made it difficult, but she couldn’t be bothered to even try to take them off. She was in heaven. 

His free hand slid under her shirt to hold her waist and to keep her steady. Her thighs kept attempting to get closer and closer together. She could feel her orgasm coming and wanted nothing more than to crumble under Yoobin’s fingertips. Jean fabric ended up between her teeth as she came, unable to stop noise from escaping her. Her hips jerked against him, knees weakening as his warmth spread through her limbs.

He kept his fingertips pressed up against her and let her ride it out.

Panting, she didn’t even have the energy to look at him. She let all her weight lean into him and just laughed in disbelief. The hand in her jeans disappeared and arms wrapped around her in an effort to hold her close. He smelled so good. She kept her face buried, enjoying the silence between them as they collected themselves. 

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Yoobin spoke up.

“I should probably pull my pants up.”

She ended up laughing, “Probably.” 

She pulled away and watched him as he got his clothes back in order. Amusement took her lips as he checked his packer for who knows what before stuffing it back in his jeans. Despite everything that just happened, she felt the need to look away as he fixed himself. Hair sticking to his forehead a little, he fixed himself before looking at her with a smile on his lips. She took a deep breath, unsure of what to even say.

“How do you feel?” he asked quietly.

“Good. Kind of like I want to cry, actually.”

“Me too.”

“I guess you’re gonna want my number again, huh?”

They both couldn't resist grinning. Feigning non-nonchalance, she insisted, “I’d love it.”


End file.
